366 Project: Week Nineteen

We had a great visit with Nancy and Michael (lots more pictures to come from that!), and we've hit a few more major milestones in the countdown. We have less than a month to go, so we're shedding stuff like crazy, and life is beginning to feel a little uncomfortable as our ordinary conveniences are passed onto others. Maybe all of this discomfort will help the last month fly by? Hmmm...seems unlikely! I am feeling more and more thankful that I decided to do this project, so that I have the motivation to actually take all of the pictures that can seem silly or mundane, and actually record them here. Sorry if it's a bit boring for y'all!

127/366: Cheater day. It rained all day, and Kennedy was sick all morning. Eric, Cade, Michael, and Nancy went to the school "picnic" that had to be moved into the cafeteria because of the rain. We had planned to go on an afternoon bike ride after the softball game that usually happens after the picnic. Our plans started a bit off when Kennedy woke up with an earache and ended up throwing up. Then, it rained through the picnic, and we ended up hanging out playing games. Nancy and I headed out in the afternoon to get coffee at Fazenda, but I forgot to take a picture of that, so I'm using the picture I took the day before at Peer Coffee (another bucket list stop for me! It was delicious, but it's expensive and inconvenient, so I doubt I'll make it back.). My one picture from that day is an awkward one of Reece changing that one of the kids took.

128/366: No danger of a lack of pictures of our trip to Nami Island on Saturday, though. I took pictures all day long on one of my major bucket list trips. Not somewhere I would need to go back to, but at least now I won't wonder whether I missed the most amazing place in Korea!

129/366: On Sunday, we took off on a Mother's Day hike out in Gwacheon where Eric used to play baseball. Most of our hike was not actually on Gwanaksan, but we had some pretty views of it, nonetheless.

130/366: I spent Sunday night doing the packing dance, as Michael was taking back three 70 pound bags for us. Thankfully, I had done a lot of prep work and had most of the stuff stashed away already, but there's still that final pack--making sure that everything is full so nothing moves, the breakables are properly packed, and the weight limits have been met but not exceeded. It was quite a show. He took off Monday afternoon, after a quick ride to the airport bus, because it didn't seem fair to make him do the luggage shuffle that we do when it was our bags!

131/366: It rained most of the morning, so the plants were looking lush with raindrops on them when I went to pick Cade up from the bus stop. I couldn't help but take a picture, and since it was exactly one month from the day we fly out, a quote seemed appropriate. At this point, this is the kind of reminder I need because the alternative is curl up into a ball and cry.

132/366: We had to get rid of the car this week in order to avoid paying the hefty fees for vehicle inspection and insurance, so Reece and I made (hopefully) our last trip to Emart. Unfortunately, I didn't remember until late in the day that we're probably still going to have to make a trip to iPark to get Kennedy some pants or a skirt for her concert next week. Wish I'd done that before we got rid of the car!

133/366: And some days, you just gotta have fun. Without a car, our lives will be considerably more homeward bound, but this kid often finds himself needing to get out of the house in the afternoon. So, we walked a few laps around the playground to get in some exercise, and then he took several laps up the stairs and down the slide to get some energy out.

Tonight, we got rid of another load of stuff for the Seoul Swap on Saturday, so after nearly 10 boxes last weekend, plus three suitcases back to the States, we're feeling like the load is lightened a bit. Most of what we have around now will be either delivered or thrown away in the next couple of weeks as we finally start to figure out suitcases for the final pack. It should be interesting! We have another busy weekend ahead of us with Eric going glamping with friends tomorrow night and the International Bazaar on Saturday. With any luck, we'll have some time to relax on Sunday, because I think we're ready for it!

Reece 15-18 Months

It's been awhile since the last official Reece update, and I think all of the changes have happened in the past three months. Haha. Okay, he couldn't possibly have changed as much in the past three months as he did in his first year, but it feels like we've turned a corner. For real.

This kid finally sleeps well--through the night, every night! (Strangely, I'm not even scared to type that...) He's now met so many of the milestones that I had been waiting for, that I'm kind of thinking he could just stop getting any bigger now. He walks everywhere now--remember how long I've been waiting for him to be able to walk from the car to the elevator? He's been doing it for a couple of months now, and it's just as great as I thought it would be! In spite of the fact that he can walk everywhere, he's also still pretty chill and will hang out in the stroller just watching whenever I want or need him to, which is really handy when there are two soccer games in one afternoon.

It's fun to look back at these pictures from over the course of the last three months and see how much he's grown. His hair is getting long and has to be swept out of his eyes several times a day. Eric says it's time for a haircut, but I'm not convinced. It only bothers Reece when the wind is blowing and his hair is flying everywhere. He'll put his hands on his head to hold it down and whine because he can't hold it all at the same time. So funny!

He talks all the time, though most of the time we're not sure what he's saying. He has a distinct toddler vocabulary, though, including: thank you (sounds like dank do), hi (with lots and lots of iiiis usually), hello, wow, ow, muah (kissing), all done, bye, uh uh, there it is, 1, 2, 3, Gooooo! and the end. Some of those are more clear than others. You know, it takes a mom's ear.

Last night was probably the first time I'd heard him cry in the middle of the night since we returned from Guam. We're all sick with colds again, plus we took him to a friend's for dinner last night and kept him up about two hours past his bedtime, so I wouldn't say I was surprised he didn't sleep well. Typically, I would say that he sleeps about 11 hours--from about 7pm to 6am-ish. But, he usually goes down about 6:45 and gets up about 6:45-7, so I'll take it. As long as he's in his crib for about 12 hours, I'm happy. (And so is he.)

I think it was probably sometime in February that we officially switched him to one nap per day, starting early, and planning to move it closer to the afternoon. Afternoon naptimes just haven't been in the cards for us, though, and he's been pretty content to go down around 11ish. He will usually sleep about 2-3 hours, with 2 1/2 being the norm, and I'm pretty content with it now, though it did take some getting used to. I will say that on Friday, I needed to be at school by 12:30, and he was happy to sleep from 10-12, and even survived the long afternoon. On Sundays, he can't nap until after church, though, so he always falls asleep in the car on the way home. Ugh.

The one and only negative turn that we've had in the past three months is that his once semi-picky palate has now turned into an extremely picky palate. The kid doesn't eat anything anymore, it seems. Cheese, yogurt, and crackers. He still drinks plenty of milk. Some days he'll eat carrots or cucumbers. He still likes most fruit, but not all. From time to time, he'll squish a tomato in his mouth. Maybe an olive here or there. He's hard to predict. Thankfully, we picked up lots of veggie pouches in Guam, and he'll usually eat those when we're out and about (which is a lot these days!). If I'm lucky, I can mix some fruit and veggies in with oatmeal in the morning, but overall, I just try to remember what Gigi says: He won't starve himself, so don't stress about it.

With the last cold and the trip to Guam, came Reece's first set of molars, and we've enjoyed the reprieve from teething for the past couple of weeks. The canines should be coming in any time now, and then hopefully we'll have another break before the last set of molars come in (with any luck we won't notice those?).

Generally, he's in a pretty good mood, so I wouldn't mind being through the whole teething stage. He has started to get a little shy and sensitive around strangers, but it can be hard to predict. The last time we dropped him off at the church nursery, he was really upset, but today wasn't as bad. Last night, he only scowled at "Aunt" Shelli (a friend who is on Eric's 8th grade team), but last week he walked to her with open arms. All this to say, it's hard to predict what his reaction will be when we get home in six(!) short weeks, so don't take offense if he takes his time to warm up, but don't be surprised if he doesn't, either.

All in all, he's a whole lot of fun these days. He walks, "runs" and dances, climbs stairs, and goes down the slide. He loves to read books--almost as much as his big sibs--play peek-a-boo, and get tickled. He has a contagious little laugh that takes his whole body. He's pretty easily entertained (I think a stack of post-its can keep him busy for an hour), fairly predictable in terms of needs (food, sleep, or stimulation), and a great flyer. The tantrums he got into a few months ago have eased for the most part (though it is funny how he wants to do the full-on toddler-lay-on-the-floor-banging-my-head tantrum, but realizes it will hurt so he just pretends to!), and he's generally a pretty happy kid.

At this point, with the biggest transition/upset to routine just about six weeks away, I can only pray that we don't ruin the spirit of this kid. Because, to be honest, none of us knows what to expect.

He's about to move into his third home (and when I say "about to," I mean three months-give or take) and second country in less than two years. This may be the last time that he ever lives in the country in which he was born--how many of us can say that? And, in three months, he'll be immersed in another culture, community, and lifestyle that none of us are really prepared for. Pray for us, will ya? 

The Announcement

Since my original post about looking for a new community, I haven't really commented on what life will look life for us after we leave here in June. Truth be told, I think I've been avoiding blogging, so that I can avoid making any announcements. We've spent much of the last few months in the "we don't know anything" stage, and so there wasn't really anything to share. There are still a whole lot of question marks in our lives right now, and some of them are scary enough to think about without actually writing it out. But, considering we could use some prayer and we finally have some answers, I figured it was time to put it out there.

To be honest, I've been putting off the "announcement," itself, I think. There was a brief period where I was just excited that we know where we're going next, and I wasn't yet worried about the unknowns, but that time was very short. I'm the kind who doesn't like to share news until I have the answers to all of the inevitable questions, and so I'd rather wait. But, now that we've told our immediate family, and the information is starting to leak, I figured I'd better make it official. Even though we definitely don't have all of the answers.

We are officially moving to Texas--north of the Dallas/Fort Worth area. That's still weird for me to see in print. I'm starting to wonder how long it will take me to actually push the publish button on this post. Once it's out there for all the world to see, it will be real.

Strangely, I think I'm more scared of moving to Texas than I was of moving to Korea. When we moved here, there were so many things that were already figured out for us--housing, specific jobs, childcare, our house. Those things are still up in the air at this point. We still have our rental house in Stanwood, which on some days seems like a dark cloud looming over us. Most of the time, I can't see past the cloud, and so my mind stays stuck in what has to be done in Washington before we can make the transition to Texas.

Of course, before we can start in on the projects in Washington, we have to finish life here in Korea, and that isn't an easy task, either. We've started getting rid of things (which feels great for me!), but there are still many more things to pass off. And then there are the goodbyes, which I am truly dreading. Already I feel like I'm in way more conversations than I want to be that start with "I understand why you're leaving, but I'm sad to see you guys go..." And I just want to scream "No!!! It's not time to start goodbyes!"

But, before I end this post with the hard stuff, I want to take a minute to look at all of the good reasons why we're moving, and more specifically, why we're moving to Texas. I'm just going to write a list because that will make it easier for me to look at when I need these reminders in 3 months or 6 months or 18 months or whenever it may be.

(Not in any particular order)
1. We will be returning to the States, but because we're not returning to Washington, we won't expect everything to be the same. This means that the difficulty of our repatriation might fall a little more in line with our expectations. Maybe. We'll see.
2. The kids will get to continue in Christian education. This is both a positive and a negative for us at times, but it is something that Kennedy is really excited about. When she found out that she could not attend an international school in her passport country, she really wanted to be able to go to a Christian school (our public school stories probably did not help her with this!).
3. The adventure continues. We are able to repatriate, but we're still moving to a new "country," in Texas-speak. We have done almost as much research about moving to Texas as we did about moving to Korea. It should be interesting!

We are still lacking details--we don't know when we will have to be down there, but we know it will be sometime in July, and we're praying it's near the end. We're planning to do some work on our house and put it on the market when our renters move out at the end of June. Then, we'll load up a U-Haul and pray the Expedition makes it to Texas. We will probably end up spending a few months in an apartment while we wait for our house to sell and find a new one to buy.

As of right now, Eric will be starting a high school math lab, and I will be working in the high school office, but there's a good chance that Eric will end up teaching Geometry, and I will be teaching 9th grade English. We're really excited about those opportunities! We've spent a lot of time reading over the school's website with the kids, and we're excited to become a part of this new community!

These were just a few pictures from our trip to Guam last week; there are many, many more to come!

366 Project: Week Nine

Things are progressing in the job department, but no big announcements yet. We have two more interviews this coming week, and we continue to be amazed at the doors God is opening for us. As hard as it is to not have all of the details nailed down yet, we have to remember that when we said we wouldn't be returning back in November, we thought there was a good chance that we wouldn't have jobs until June, so we're grateful for the progress that has been made so far.

57/366: Cade and Mr. Adams after having cupcakes. I've already gone on a bit about how fun this was, so I'll leave it at that.

58/366: Another last. I took the kids to the spring musical--Fiddler on the Roof. It was another great performance, of course, and I may have been a bit broken-hearted when they announced that we couldn't take pictures at all. We (or I) have been to at least one YISS play every year since we got here, and we've loved every last one. After the play, I took the kids out for hot chocolate.

59/366: We had a great day celebrating Cade! It was really busy because Eric had a meeting after church, and then he and Cade took off to see a movie while Kennedy and I spent the afternoon preparing homemade pizza for dinner. It was late by the time we sat down with the birthday treat he picked out. A donut cake. Because we're just that classy.

60/366: Eric and the kids had Monday off for another Korean Independence Day, so Kennedy and I got to go see Zootopia, too. This was probably our last movie in Korea, so I figured I should document it in some way.

Another month down! Yahoo!

61/366: Kennedy had been begging me to do a "practice" pack. I can completely understand her desire; how else are we supposed to know whether everything will fit in our suitcases? The chore sounds too daunting to me since mine is on a much larger scale, but she had fun with hers and was relieved to find that most of what she wants to bring fits in her suitcase.

62/366: I take pictures of the boys in the bathtub all the time, so I'd been wanting to try to figure out a way to capture Kennedy. Eric thinks it's creepy and a little stalker-ish, but it was the best I could come up with.

63/366: Cade volunteered to help with the laundry yesterday, and it was the perfect opportunity to capture the hilarity of our washer/dryer situation. I don't complain because I'm not pregnant, I'm tall enough to reach in without climbing, and I'm just so thrilled to have a dryer (and one with close proximity to the washer; we have lots of friends who have them on opposite ends of the house), but it is kind of funny to the outsider.

It is finally spring in Seoul--a high of 60 today with a whole lot of haze. The air quality is only "unhealthy for sensitive groups" though, so I guess it could be worse (and it's supposed to be in the coming days). You know when we tell our kids that we never checked air quality before moving here, they don't believe us? It's kind of like that "we walked uphill both ways to school" speech that our parents gave us--except that in Seoul that's true, too! Who knew you really can walk uphill both ways?! Nonetheless, I look forward to the day when we don't have to check the air quality alongside the weather!

Between Worlds

Our book club book for this past month was a collection of essays by Marilyn Gardner, an adult third culture kid, called Between Worlds. This book has brought tears to my eyes more times than I can count, and while I first read about it on an expat blog about a year ago, now is the time when I needed to read it, and I'm glad that God orchestrated that timing. As I've read, I've highlighted so many passages that I fear that as I try to look back over the most important advice that I need to reference, I will feel that I'm reading the entire book over again!

You might remember that Eric and I have already done a fair amount of reading and studying about third culture kids (TCKs), but when we began almost five years ago, we were thinking about it mostly in terms of our students or possibly what our kids would become. Now, we are deep into life with our TCKs and trying to figure out how to prepare them for life in a country that doesn't feel like home. Repatriation is a whole new ball game.

Among those many highlighted passages, one in particular stopped me in my tracks. I immediately had to put the book down, so that I could write out this quote from Nina Sachel. Because this is something I'm going to need to remember when Kennedy is having another one of her emotional days. When I can't possibly understand what she's thinking or feeling, I need to listen. Because she has stories to tell, stories that she's afraid to tell at school or to her peers for fear that she'll alienate them. For fear that they won't understand. For fear they'll think she's bragging when all she really wants to do is talk about her life.

              "So when she comes to you, don't ask her where she's from, or what's troubling her. Ask her where she's lived. Ask her what she's left behind. Open doors. And just listen. Give her the time, space, and permission she needs to remember and to mourn. She has a story -- many stories. And she needs and deserves to be heard, and to be healed, and to be whole."

I think the most interesting thing I've learned reading this book is how little I understand the perspective of my kids. Of course, we have all dealt with loss and struggled with identity, but reading a book written by an adult TCK who is raising TCKs has shown me just how big the gap is between our experiences. Eric and I will always feel--in some way--at home when in the States. It's the place where we can go where we understand expectations, language, and food. And our kids will never feel as comfortable there as we do. That's the part that I can't quite wrap my mind around.

The title of the book, Between Worlds refers to the place where TCKs feel most comfortable. They don't truly fit in in any country--not their passport country, nor the country which they've called home. They feel most comfortable in between--packing suitcases, hanging in airports, flying at 30,000 feet and within the four walls of whatever home we have created--the place where they can talk about where they've been or where they're going. Where people understand that they don't feel American or Korean, but they feel both at the same time.

I'll never truly understand the identity crisis that we've put our children through when we turned them into TCKs, but thankfully books like this one give me a little insight, so that when my daughter--who is absolutely dreading leaving the country that she considers home--gets excited 3 months early about packing, I can embrace it. Sure, kid, if you want to put all of your precious belongings in a suitcase just to see if they fit, you go for it. "Thanks, Mom! I love packing!" 

Happy 7th Birthday, Cade

Dear Cade,

I always love going back and looking for pictures to put in these posts. Obviously, we didn't do you justice back then, but blurry photos are better than no photos, right? I'm gonna take it for granted that you'll forgive me for my lack of skill back in the day. (Though you may never forgive me for having documented your brother's life so much more thoroughly than yours, and I can't really blame you.)

You have always brought such joy to our lives with your laugh, your humor, and your energy. Today, I took you and your sister to the school play (I was a bit surprised that you were the bigger advocate for this outing over your sister, because plays are not always your thing.), and you watched the whole thing with your mouth wide open, never moving from the edge of your chair. When I took you out for hot chocolate afterwards, though, you absolutely could not sit down until the moment your hot chocolate arrived. You're all boy!

Yesterday, I brought cupcakes to your class to celebrate your birthday, and it was probably the best classroom birthday I've ever witnessed. Your teacher, Mr. Adams, asked the kids in your class to raise their hands and share one reason why they were glad that you were in their class. They began with the words "I'm glad you were born seven years ago because..." and nearly every hand shot up to share, because well, they're in first grade, and because you're a pretty cool kid, Cade.

Here were a few of the lines:
   Cade, I'm glad you were born seven years ago because you are encouraging. (Good word!)
   Cade, I'm glad you were born seven years ago because you are funny (to which Mr. Adams added, "yes, I agree, and I think he gets funnier every day.).
   Cade, I'm glad you were born seven years ago because you are good at everything and you're nice.
   Cade, I'm glad you were born seven years ago because you are honest and helpful. When you got hurt, you told the truth, so that I wouldn't get in trouble.
   Cade, I'm glad you were born seven years ago because you are good at sports and at school.

I wish I'd been able to record the whole thing, because it was the sweetest thing. For your part, you sat in your chair and (mostly) made eye contact with the person talking. You got to call on kids to speak, and you liked that power.

Today, you told me that your biggest concern about moving back to the States is making friends, and Kennedy and I agreed that is also one of our biggest concerns for ourselves. While I don't see you as the kid who has one best friend, Cade, I do know that you have a lot of kids who love to hang out with you! Then, when we talked about how we could help ourselves make friends, it became clear why. Of the three of us, you definitely had the most advice!

At this point, you are generally excited about the upcoming changes in our lives. I think a lot of it is just your laid-back personality; there isn't a whole lot that really bothers you. You are also capable of seeing what there is to be excited about, in terms of the move, because you haven't experienced quite as much loss in your life as your sister, nor are you worried about details. You're thinking about the adventure that is to come!

I am so proud of you, Cade-man--both the kid you are and the man you're becoming. I'm so excited to see what the future holds for you in the upcoming months, as we all endure change. I love you, little man!

Love,
Mom

Beginning Transition

Sometimes, I swear that the closer our move gets, the further away it seems. As we start to look at some of the details of things that need to be done (both here and in Washington), it gets a bit overwhelming. I spend an inordinate amount of time these days taking pictures of our things and cataloging them for those who may want to benefit from our departure. My mind is a constant maze of to-dos that can't be done yet.

Right now, I'm in that everything-about-Korea-annoys-me stage. Our upstairs neighbors are having some remodeling done, and so there is all kinds of noise going on up there much of the day. That kind of thing tends to wear on the nerves. (Not to mention the announcement in our apartment when it's about to begin, because apparently I need noise to announce there will be noise!) The contractors have been smoking, so the halls stink and the fire alarms keep going off. I'll be happy when they're done!

If I never have to live in another building with an elevator and all of these locked doors and different keys, I will be so happy. It's just so annoying when you're trying to juggle a wiggly toddler in a huge slippery coat and the groceries. Ack.

And so, tonight we're having Korean. I'm making bulgogi, I picked up cucumber kimchi and black beans soaked in soy sauce. We've got kim and rice. Lettuce leaves and ssamjang. Because there are some things that we will miss once we've moved on, and it's important to remember that. (Even when your toddler has molars coming in and isn't eating, napping, or sleeping well.)